Sometimes we just have to put it all in God’s hands. Sorry for pulling out the big-G card so early in the morning, but I think you just need to have a little faith darling. Stop trying to control every aspect of your life down to the most minute details. You just gotta trust that everything will work out exactly as it is meant to. That doesn’t necessarily mean life will always turn out the way we’d like it to. But that’s where faith comes in. I think it’s ok to lose sight of the finish line sometimes. As long as you stay on the right track, keep being a good person, and follow your heart and soul, without hurting people along the way, then you’ll be ok. We don’t always need to have all the answers. We don’t always need to have it all figured out. We just need to trust that God does. If you’re having trouble seeing the finish line, maybe its because the goal you’ve been racing towards is no longer your intended destination. That happens sometimes. Sometimes life throws us curve balls, and sometimes we just get so focused on inching towards the end zone, that we fail to notice the goal posts have been moved. Again, that’s where faith comes in. Whatever it is that you believe in – be it God; or universal karma; or supreme law of attraction; natural selection, etc. – you just gotta believe in some concept or doctrine that gives your life some sense of meaning, and then let the powers that be handle the rest. Stay strong, beautiful. You’ve got this. I believe in you, and I believe God has a plan for all of us.
I used to think of myself as a "Borderline", a sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder, amongst other mental health issues, including DID and C-PTSD. However now, with the help of trained professionals, personal education, and most of all, through the grace of God, I am no longer a "sufferer", I am a survivor! I am not defined by my diagnoses any longer!