My Hope

Loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder can be described in many different ways, mostly negative. However, unless it is a parent-child relationship (even then sometimes too), there is one thing these relationships are always….and that is voluntary. Being in a relationship with someone suffering with BPD is not easy, and definitely not for the weak of heart. It’s just not for everybody. It does take “a bigger person”, someone who is willing to make the sacrifices and go the extra mile. But let me tell you that, while it may seem “one-sided” and unfair most of the time, it is all worth it when that borderline that you love surprises you with an incredibly thoughtful gift on your birthday, or when you wake up to a heartfelt note the morning after an argument, or the effort they put into “perfecting” a “feel better” memento that quite honestly resembles a child’s arts & crafts project, or any one of the positive mindful and thoughtful acts they do without question. It is these highlights that make loving a borderline worth it. It is tough. And it is exhausting. And people who willingly choose to stay in a relationship with someone with BPD, knowing all the risk factors, should have their own support resources and cheerleaders. My ex fiancé once told me this and it has stuck with me throughout the years “Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, or expect them to, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with everything they have.” And even though in the end, he decided the task was too daunting for him, he and I have remained close friends. I’m not even sure if he knows this or not, but he did more for me in letting me go than anyone thus far has trying to “help” me. Because by letting me, a borderline, go, he actually equipped me with some of the most important tools in my BPD recovery. I am a Borderline. I am an Empath. I am a Fighter, but not a fighter of people, but a Fighter For People. No one is perfect, and a Borderline is far from anyone’s idea of perfect. But I urge you, if you can, hold on just a little longer, put out just a little more effort, love us just a little more during our dark days…because we can bring a light to your lives beyond compare. And it won’t be anything you expected, or even wanted, but if only just for a fleeting moment, we (your borderlines) bring a little joy, hope, & love to your life, then isn’t it worth it? Not everyone will agree with any of this, and I completely accept that. But if I can help prevent even one borderline’s abandonment issues by reaching out to the people they love, and whom love them, then I can be happy with that. Love & Light to everyone! God Bless.

 

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